i dream these days about the sea, always wake up feeling blue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztg-1pBm-eo

John Hughes did not direct my life.

Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

- Emma Stone (whom I'm completely in love with) as Olive in Easy A.

to whom it may concern.

hello,
it's me again
a whole lot's changed
since i left and
i don't know i guess
i felt like checking in

surprise,
you let it ring
well it's your turn to
leave me hanging
i don't care
i know you love it
when you see me call

i wonder who you're loving now
i'm guessing we won't work things out

you know what they say
you can't have it so you want it back
i'm way past that
believe me
if you could be in my life
like you've been on my mind
it'd be so easy

hello
it's me again
it's three days now
that you've been in my dreams
and i don't know, i guess
you've just been on my mind
i don't know, i guess
i think about you all the time

i wonder if she's much like me
i wonder if she's what you need.

blood is thicker than water.

Sistah timez.
My jew fro was in full force today.

confessions.

Desire is the key, Love is the melody.

Follow these instructions
Do exactly as I do
Lean your shoulders forward
Let your hands slide over to my side
Move your body closer
Let your heart meet mine
Love is the harmony
Desire is the key
Love is the melody
Now sing it with me
Come a little closer
Take a look at me
This light is so obvious
I want you to see
Come a little closer
Look me in the eye
Then repeat with me one more time
Love is the harmony
Desire is the key
Love is a symphony
Now play it with me
You'll be the rythm and I'll be the beat
Then I'll be the rythm and you'll be the beat
And love, the shoreline, where you and I meet
Love is the harmony
Desire is the key
Love is a symphony
Come sing some with me

T'is the season.

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."

Just like starting over.

I feel like I'm too young to have a mid life crisis. To decide my career's not for me before it's even begun. But the more I sit in class listening to teachers ramble on about marketing strategies, share of voice, costs of campaigns, the more I realize that I don't give a fuck. I just want to make up crazy and unique ideas for advertisements. I don't give a shit about the actual product. One class has inspired me this week though: my photography elective. We watched a documentary on the most fascinating woman, Annie Leibovitz. She's worked at Rolling Stone for years and has lived the most exciting life. She got to travel the world and take photos of rockstars. She was on a first name basis with John Lennon. She went on tour with the Rolling Stones. Hunter S. Thompson was her mentor. Why can't my life be like that? Because it's not the 70s anymore. 2010 fucking sucks.

You've got a bad case of stupidity.

I don't think I'm stupid, trashy or needy enough to attract any of the boys at Sheridan.

And I'm completely okay with that.

I've had the time of my life with you.

My amazing roomates threw me a surprise party for my 20th birthday and it was probably one of the best nights of my life. I am so thankful for them and all of my friends. (Even if they did cover my face in whipped cream)

It's a love story.

It's official, no boy can make my heart flutter the way it does when I think of England or look at pictures of it. I will never love anyone as much as I love my dream.

Jump back to me anytime.

I'm so excited to see her.

Heart is in the right place, Brain is in the dirt.

I've always been really indecisive, even as a child. My father used to take me to the store and let me pick out a chocolate bar and I'd always go for my usual. But then I'd second guess my choice and spend about fifteen minutes examining all the other kinds before finally settling on the one I originally picked.
And to this day that's how I am. In my heart I always know what the decision is that I have to make but I always second guess it. I don't know if it's because I'm scared of the outcome or that it'll be the wrong decision, but my brain always gets in the way of my heart. But the verdicts out, I've made my decision and sorry, but you're not it.

She moves in her own way.

A recent picture of yourself and fifteen random facts:
1) I was born on Rememberance Day.
2) I have a dimple by right eye because when I was 3 I fell out of bed and cracked my cheek bone.
3) I'm extremely clumsy and am always falling or tripping over something. (See above)
4) I have no religion because my parents wanted to let me decide what I believed in on my own. I'm still deciding.
5) I'm not a big fan of winter or summer, I'd rather have autumn all year.
6) I was obsessed with writing stories as a child and originally applied to university for Journalism. I got accepted everywhere but ended up changing my direction to Advertising. I'm determined to write a novel before I die though.
7) My best friend from high school lives in BC and I haven't seen her in over a year. We used to be inseparable but I find we've lost touch. I miss her, a lot. She's coming home at Christmas and I hope that it's still the same.
8) I make jokes about everything. I like laughing and I like making people laugh. Sometimes I make jokes in awkward or sad situations, and yes, it's slightly because I'm at a loss for words, but it's also because I truly believe laughter is the best medicine.
9) I have a huge interest in photography and have started getting more into it this past year.
10) I absolutely love horseback-riding and have been doing it since I was 10. I miss it, a lot and really want to get back into riding and showing eventually. And hopefully buy the horse I've never been able to have. Other than living in England, that has been my lifelong dream.
11) My roommates mean the absolute world to me. They've made a huge impact on my life and I love them unconditionally. (And I know they feel the same because they don't stop loving me even when I do stupid things or knock something over)
12) I don't care what anybody says, Dashboard Confessional is my most favourite band. I even named the cat I got in grade 8 'Dash' after them. I finally got to see them live last year with Natasha and was very front row. It is definitely on my list as one of the best days of my life.
13) I love films and music and would love to do advertising for either two one day.
14) I always make stupid faces in pictures.
15) Other than Christmas, Halloween is my favourite holiday and I'm really excited that it's this weekend!

Stand by my forever.

Hold on to spinning around
Confetti falls to the ground
May these memories break our fall
Will you take a moment, promise me this
That you'll stand by my forever
But if god forbid fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children some day
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name
Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how our hope it shined

Long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life with you
Long, long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders
I'm not afraid
Long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
I was screaming long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day we will be remembered

Forever and Always.

Crossroads.

Game shows are are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education
- Chuck Palahniuk

Fuck school, I'm running away to join the circus.
Or maybe I should just suck it up and realize that not all people in college are as smart as me and sometimes I have to put up with people who are a step away from riding the short bus. Let's just hope they don't run me over on the way.

Don't let your dreams be dreams.

I'm moving to England.

It's weird to say out loud because I've been dreaming about it since I was 7. I've always had a weird obsession with the country and would talk with an accent as a kid. Dorky, I know. But for my whole life my dream has been to live there. My career goals have changed but the one thing that was consistent was that I was going to move to London and stay forever. I visited the city in 2005 and instantly fell in love. The cobblestone streets, accents and the atmosphere stole my heart, which I knew it would. I knew right away that it was where I wanted to be.
So, since I'm going to be finished college this year I'm planning on moving in September, 2011. Its frightening but exciting. I'll be heartbroken about leaving my family and friends, especially my two roomates, who I can't even consider roommates because they are more like sisters. But I know it's something I have to do. It's where I belong.